Spanning the globe to bring you a constant variety of pretense! The make-believe thrills of socialism...and forsaken agony of actual consequences! The human drama of presumptuous politics! This is LIB’s Wide World of Programming!

Even with all the scandals hovering over the Beijing Olympics, communist China continues to trail liberals in the art of propaganda and masquerade. China, like the left, pretends to be champions of the common man, yet history and facts prove the opposite.

When it comes to exploiting, pillaging, and deceiving downtrodden people, China and liberals are battling for the title, but both easily dominate the rest of the competition.

During the extravagant opening ceremonies of this summer’s Olympics, China unveiled wily trickery that rivaled the campaigning propaganda of the Democrat Party. By now you have probably heard that China tried to bury a chubby-cheeked, bucktoothed little singer of “Ode to the Motherland,” underneath the lip-synching of another little girl with long pigtails, and straight teeth. But despite the communists’ brazen stunt, they barely closed the propaganda gap between themselves and American liberals. After all, Democrats invented this trick.

Yes, in essence, Obama symbolizes a charming little stand-in who lip-synchs the words of someone else’s voice. Initially, Obama briefly obscured the left’s inherently flawed political agendas by appearing to be an innocuous slender package. But the truth eventually seeped out. Even so, he continues to represent what liberals perceive to be the epitome of youth, health, and culture. Obama is the quintessential spirit that the left yearns to present to the world. As a global citizen and one-world-one-community ideal, Obama oozes the progressive agenda.

Liberals have enjoyed global adulation for promoting a presidential candidate with zero leadership experience and no valuable legislative accomplishment, but China has endured tremendous criticism for trying to scam the world with only a little, pigtailed, lip-synching pretender.

The world also ridicules China for digitally enhancing the fireworks during the Olympics’ opening ceremonies. And granted, perhaps China was trying to send a visual message around the globe that fire burns more brightly under communist rule. But then again, maybe China was only trying to compensate for the excessive smog and pollution that diminished the authentic effects. Whatever the case, liberals have become so much more adroit in this area of deceit that they rarely encounter similar scrutiny. Liberals always seem to slither away from much needed criticism.

Consider each time Obama clumsily detonates one of his explosive foot-to-mouth missiles. What happens? Democrats tumble into action, masterfully deflecting judgment. The left boldly beckons its mainstream media on a whim to digitally water down Obama’s dynamite gaffes. The mainstream news agencies kneel before Obama in the aftermath of every verbal blunder, chanting to the world that Obama is messiah.

And of course, to annihilate a political emergency quickly, Liberals can always light the fuse for the big blast of RACISM!

In China’s final challenge, even its women’s gymnastics scandal could not push China past the liberals. The world is sneering at China for brashly claiming its little, nimble pixies --who won the gold medal in team competition-- are all 16 years old. But the little gymnastic prodigies look more like they are eight years old. Maybe this issue is all a simple misunderstanding –you know, like all of Obama’s questionable relationships and worrisome statements seem to be. Certainly, when the tiny competitors ages are all added together maybe then they equal sixteen. Regardless, the little girls’ passports (which document their required age) are probably more believable than just about anything Obama ever says.

China used the Olympics to make a valiant attempt at narrowing the propaganda gap, but the liberals held on to their lead and still have their upcoming Democratic convention. Expect them to smash their own world record.